You might be a ricer if...
by Jordon Musser

First of all, this completly a JOKE, please don't be offended, and above all realize this is not a racial slur!  If you have anything you would like to add to this page, email me.  Thanks Matt Briganti for a few more.

• You leave your stock steel wheels on the front to keep rotating mass down.. but last time I checked, the rear tires rotate too.
• You put your automatic car in neutral and roll back at lights to make it look like you have a manual
• Your mod list includes stickers for 20 aftermarket companies, but the only "performance" part you have on your car is that 5in Autometer tach.
• Your lighted 5in autometetach isn'y really hooked up(but the backlight is)
• Your rims are so large, that you have to install the tire/wheel from under the neath the car because it won't fit in the wheel well.
• When you shop for an exhaust system for you car, you bring a Folgers can with you to compare size.
• You -really- think that the more negative camber, the better your car handles
• You get a wing that is shoulder height so that the car is easier to push through the staging lanes, so you can maybe break into the 16s by keeping the car cool
• You really don't care if the wing fits the car right, they make duct tape for a reason
• You add heavy side marker lights to your car, 3ft tall wings and GFX, yet you gut the interior for weight savings.
• Again, the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod aren't functional, but you made sure the gauge backlighting was working.
• Why cut one coil for proper ride height, when you can cut 4 and scrape the chassis on the ground?
• You install clear corner and brake lights to be different.
• You install clear brake lights to be cool.. wait, are those rear lights pink? man.. you are cool!
• Your windshield banner is spelled wrong, (i.e. V-TEC or Performantz
  Motorsportz) Yeah biatch!
• Your street-meet includes a "Most Bitchin' Shift Knob" competition
• Your racing team's name could be confused with a nightclub
• While getting out of your rice rocket, you keep tripping over your baggy
  pants.